Reseña del libro "Permission to Land: Searching for Love, Home & Belonging (en Inglés)"
It was January 2011. I had had enough and couldn’t take it anymore. There was no respite, no break from the anger, resentment, and guilt. My relationship with my mother had become incredibly volatile and tense because of her mental illnesses and her opiate addiction. She had become impossibly belligerent, and, on this night, she chose to verbally attack, not just me, but my young children causing them to run in terror and lock themselves in my daughter’s bedroom. As quick as turning on a light, I transformed instantly from an endlessly abused and victimized daughter into a fierce mama lion protecting her cubs and her den. After over forty years, I found my strength, threw my mother out of my home, and never spoke to her again.This is my story, but it is also the story of millions of other people who grew up in homes rife with emotional abuse, gaslighting, uncertainty, fear, guilt, shame, blame, and the feeling that nothing was safe.For too many years, I contorted myself into foreign forms to meet my mother’s expectations, to earn good grades, to fit in with the kids at school, to find a place where I felt safe, to try to find love I could count on, and on and on. I was so busy making others happy that I had completely lost sight of myself and what I wanted. It was hard to imagine existing in my life if I stopped trying to fit myself into the mold of what everyone expected of me.Would I still be accepted?Would I finally feel loved and cared for?Would I learn how it felt to be truly safe?How would I even figure out who I was and what I wanted?Would I ever have a home where I felt in control and at peace?How could I take apart a marriage that mirrored the toxicity I shared with my mother?How could I unravel all the unmet expectations, shameful feelings, guilt, and fear that these patterns would repeat themselves with my own children?Was I brave enough to be vulnerable and face all the pain and trauma to heal myself and make sense of it all?I had no idea the answers to any of these questions.All I knew was that something had to change because I could no longer carry on like this.I gave myself permission to step out of the darkness my life had become and learn to find my own light.I gave myself permission to take back control of my life and learn to live into my purpose, find meaning and joy, learn to love myself, and become the person, the mother, the daughter, the teacher, the creative visionary I had always secretly known I was meant to be.My hope for you is that by me feeling safe to reveal my processes and my healing journey you will feel safe to reveal and share yours. As I lay bare my own awakening process you will be able to start to envision yours.My path might be different from yours, but the humanity of my feelings and experiences, my struggles and traumas, my healing and salvation are things we all share.We all experience these feelings and can learn from each other’s journeys. This is the place where empathy is born.Join me on this lifetime adventure. _______“In truth, Permission to Land: Searching for Love, Home & Belonging is a tumultuous journey that is in equal parts grounded and commonplace as it is unique and ephemeral. The reader bears witness to many circumstances that we have all faced at one time or another, and just like a mother, mentor, sister, or best friend, Marci Brockmann translates these experiences in a way we can come to understand the significance of our own conflicts, and our own mountains. Marci’s life is a prime example of how one can not only live with their heart wide open and come out the other side but emerge with resolute grace and timeless wisdom.” —Kerry Jane Kelvas, Author and Creator of the YouTube Channel Metanoia.
